Tuesday, December 11, 2018

I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!

Well round two sure seems to be off to another BOOMING (or shall I saw BEAMING) SUCCESS.

I've NOW picked up the ability to speak several more languages and am genuinely considering offering my services to the language interpretation program at MSKCC.

 Who knew Urdu?? NOW I DO!

Please schedule your appointment with me today. 

I just can't help but thinking that these doctors are ON TO SOMETHING and I've never been more excited to attach frickin laser beams to the heads of sharks and see where this business venture could take us!! Accepting all angel investors. Sam, can you help with my business plan? If you haven't already, I'm assuming you'll be responding in the following manner:

Well, that wraps the fun for the day. Tomorrow will be the third and final day of laser beaming bliss. I'll spend the morning in an acupuncture session getting little liver Lilith back on track so that we can come up with a game plan for whether she can tackle the stem cell infusions or whether we need to change things up at all.

Things are still somewhat up in the air about keeping me on the trial and I've been slightly struggling, again, with this cloud of uncertainty hanging over the room, my mood and my clarity about what each new day brings. But I'm learning to slowly step-back and just allow. I think one of my big lessons is to stop micro-managing [HI, MOM, AM I RELATED TO YOU AT ALL?]. As long as you have a goal in mind, it doesn't matter the various ways in which you reach this goal. There will be ups and downs and dead-ends and unexpected potholes (Sarah/Ann, I'll never be able to think about potholes without conjuring nightmares of that drive across Costa Rica)...BUT...trust the process. (We eventually made it to Luna Lodge!) You will  get there as long as that conviction is strong in your heart. Then, one day looking back on some of those potholes or dead-ends, you realize they were essential in getting you to exactly where your heart was telling you to go, along with all the learning it needed to receive along the way. [Key learning from the Cost Rica car ride is that Ann has an extreme case of misophonia with random car noises..lolol.]

Also just a disclaimer because I feel like a lot of these posts buoy between some weird type of off-the cuff existentialism and epic bants.  I swear to god, I'm not on a shit ton of drugs (wouldn't mind if I were) but this writing has been incredibly therapeutic and is coming from quite a profound place of clarity...thanks to the RADIATION MAYBE??? I just keep having these visions of smuggling external radiation beam machines to the OZARKS and calling DEL! Who's in!?

Anyway, my purpose here is two fold. 1) Help me process this journey in a meaningful way and 2) keep you amazing network of humans up to date. It's been an interesting jaunt into the world of journaling and the love and support I have received thus far has made it all incredibly worth it.

I heart all of you so much



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